1. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
2. People call at 8 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?�
3. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
4. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
5. Things you buy now wont wear out.
6. You can eat dinner at 4 p.m.
7. You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
8. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
9. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
10. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
11. You sing along with elevator music.
12. Your eyes wont get much worse.
13. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
14. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists that the national weather service.
15. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either.
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