Well here it is, the post that’s going to out me…as a true GEEZER!!! The warning signs have been there for some time now. I’m starting to enjoy dinner about 4:30p and at 8:00p I’m wondering why I’m still awake. I really don’t care what Kim whatever her name is wears, eats, sleeps with or names her baby, or for that matter, or any of the thousand other shows and “stars” like Honey Boo-Boo. Jimmy Stewart was a star. Bob Hope was a comedian. Grace Kelly was glamorous. Lindsey Lohan, really???
Anyway, I was reading with interest just last week an article about social media do’s and don’ts. Seems people today have no social etiquette when it comes to using Facebook-Twiter-email-Instagram and a million other things. Well, it struck me, we have a couple generations that obviously need a refresher course on life do’s and don’ts. Forget Social media etiquette, how about plan old manners and common sense? Start there, and the other things will follow.
So, I am offering my services as an expert on such things, learned from my own missteps as a youth. When I was a kid my Grandfather whacked my elbow with the handle of a butter knife because it was on the diner table. The only cell phone I ever saw was the shoe Maxwell Smart talked into. Boys/Men walked between ladies and the street when on the sidewalk so they wouldn’t get splashed by passing cars. From that vast pool of life lessons I offer my children, grandchildren and younger generations a few things that will make you look, and act, way cooler. You’re welcome.
OPEN THE DOOR FOR GIRLS
One of the very first lessons I learned as a young man was to hold the door open for girls. In this case it was my Mom who was no girl, but the lesson was the same. You show respect and put others before yourself when you hold the door. It’s one of the earliest form of service to others we learn. Today, if the person in front of you opens the door, run like the wind Forrest, before it closes in your face!!
DON’T WATCH TV AT THE DINNER TABLE
Or play with your smart phone, xbox, Nintendo, ipad or other electronic distracting device. This will be difficult at first but slowly words will start to come out of your mouth, then complete sentences! How was your day today? What did you learn at school? When does Uncle Bob get out of prison? And gradually a laugh or two will spring forth and before you know it you learn your brother has a name other than Dude!!! If Adam and Eve had not been distracted at dinner time perhaps they would have discussed the snake and things would be all different now. Family conversation at dinner time is music to Gods ears!!
HAT OFF DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM
And it wouldn’t kill you to put your hand over your heart either. Our National Anthem has carried men and women into battle. The flag we face when we hear the song has draped the caskets of soldiers who died protecting the freedoms we enjoy every day. HEY OVER PRICED ATHLETE, the song lasts about 2 minutes, how about showing a little respect for the song and banner that allow you to do what you do instead of gazing into the stands or dancing around. And those of you in the stands, put down the beer, take off your hat and be honored to do it.
BLUE TOOTH IN THE GROCERY STORE
So there I was in the soup aisle at the grocery store and the lady standing next to me says, “Why didn’t he kiss you?” I looked over at her and said, “excuse me?” And then she said, “Did you end up sleeping with him?” At this point I’m getting a little annoyed and said, “what are you talking about?” She looked at me like I was the rudest person in the world and I noticed she had one of those Bluetooth things in her ear and she was on the phone. She was mad I was listening to her conversation, which she was having loudly, next to me, in the soup aisle. I have an idea. TALK ON YOUR PHONE AT HOME!!! I don’t care about your personal life, I’m trying to buy some eggs and chips. It creeps me out when you’re standing in the grocery store talking to yourself. You are not so important that you can’t wait until the whole world doesn’t hear your business!
SEND A THANK YOU NOTE
Not a thank you email. Not a thank you text. Not a thank you tweet. Yea, those are fine for a quick word of thanks, but always send a follow up hand-written note of thanks. I know, it’s hard to auto correct or spellcheck your handwriting and it probably takes 4 minutes to do something you can email in a minute or less. Yea, the grandmother who used to mail you a $2 bill inside a clown card that said “To Grandma’s favorite little grandchild” is no longer with us, but this is a karma thing. And it’s nice, and it’ll help the post office make a profit. It still means something to most of us when out of no where a HANDWRITTEN note shows up. Try it.
I looked up the definition of pj’s and here’s what the dictionary says…” a loose usually two-piece lightweight suit designed especially for sleeping or lounging”. I looked twice and didn’t see any thing that mentioned they should also be worn to Walmart, Target, restaurants or movie theaters. If you’re too lazy to wake up five minutes earlier and change out of your sleepwear before going to the Mall you might have a disease and should seek medical attention. We older folks think that just means you don’t have much respect for yourself. And don’t get me started on sagging pants. There are lots of things you can do to show you’re unique. Building the Statue of Liberty, that’s talent. Wearing your pants between your butt and your knees, that’s disgusting.
I can still remember the very first cuss word I ever said. It was damn, and I got spanked for saying it. This morning Diane and I were at breakfast and I heard the kids in the booth next to us say…sucks, ass, bite me, Jesus and a couple other things that would have resulted in traction when I was their age. The number of times people use the F word these days equals their heart beats per minute. I’m sorry that young people aren’t embarrassed to say bad words in front of their elders. I’m also sorry they don’t call their elders and speak to the, and learn about their lives in more than 140 character conversations. We really have lost the art of speaking to one another and so much could be solved if we did. First, there is conversation.
Wow, I really am a Geezer. A Geezer who thinks our whole world has been reduced to what we hold in our hands and not who we hold in our hands. You want to know what happens when we don’t talk to each other anymore, or look at each other anymore, or write to one another anymore? Just take a peek at what’s happening in our nation’s capitol. Enough Geezing for one day!!